How do I stay strong against peer pressure? All my friends are having sex and they make fun of me because I don’t think I’m ready. Please advise me how I can deal with them when they make fun of me.

I want to commend you for your decision to delay having sex. I can understand that when you are young and your friends tease you, you do not want to sound all serious and boring. However, deciding when to have sexual intercourse is a very serious issue. The media makes it seem glamorous and young people often feel that having sex is a sign of being older and wiser. The truth is that many young people end up emotionally hurt and often become infected with HIV. Research shows that HIV infections are found in young people between the ages of 15 and 29, a time when young people should be studying, establishing their careers and starting productive lives.

There are a number of ways to deal with the teasing. You could brush it off and accept that everyone is different and that your decision is the correct one for you. You could also raise your concerns with your friends. If the teasing hurts you, you can tell them how you feel and ask them to respect your feelings. You can use facts about AIDS to make them aware that your decision is based on the fact that you want to protect yourself from being infected with HIV. There are many stories in the media about young people living with HIV. It would be a good idea to discuss these issues with your friends to make them aware that your decision is an informed one. You need not discuss these stories when your friends are in a playful mood, since they will probably not listen to you. Rather choose a moment when they are more likely to listen to you. If they dismiss your attempts to discuss the risks of contracting AIDS, you could try talking to them individually. You may find that in a one-to-one situation, they are more likely to take you seriously and respect you for who you are and what you stand for.

If all else fails, you should seriously consider whether or not these friendships are good for you. You need friends who respect you for who you are and who share your values. Sincere friends do not pressurise each other to engage in risky sexual behaviour.

Good luck and congratulations on being a sensible young person.

Sis Lebo